The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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