I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
