maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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