...so i touched it.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize