Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
