1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize