You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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