dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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