well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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