If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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