I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
