i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
