I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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