She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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