Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The ass gains better be worth it
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