Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
