did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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