so that wasnt chicken after all
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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