We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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