i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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