Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
