he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize