he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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