your room smells of hookers.
And success
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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