I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
