I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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