did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
