She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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