Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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