from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
