Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
