Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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