I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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