im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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