Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
