nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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