Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This is the high leading the old right now
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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