I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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