The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
