i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize