Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
