That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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