Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just found puke in my bra..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
