Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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