I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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