Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
