if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
