remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
