So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize