I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
