Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
