Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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