he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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