i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
