so explain again why im purple
no
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
