Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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