you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
