I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
