As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
